Let Me Go – The Other Side Of “I Do”

You should have told me Phil. You should have told me. I should have known before we started on this journey. It’s been so long and I never imagined anything like this. I can’t bear this. I can’t bear the burden it carries. Just let me out of this beauty of a mess. Maybe this is yours but I don’t think I was made in any way for such.  

I can’t deny the clear fact that I love you. Not that my love for you has thinned a dot. Not that the fat under my skin no longer runs warm when you make love to me. You make me the woman no other man can make me.  What I hold for you is a matured affection and intensity of what I had for you when we were a bit younger. 

After 18 years on this scintilating journey, your new direction is rather unusual to my senses. I know God. And love him. I need him. I’ve not given up on my faith. On the solid ground I still stand.  But this new space you wish to buy is a bit too hard for my feeble feet. 

As my dream always was, nature didn’t deny me when she gave me you. How wonderful you look in that fashion which turns the assertive you I well admire on. When you’re in your white shirt covered in awe with that black robe and your brilliant brain carries it’s wig my pleasure is fulfilled. How wonderfully you release the oppressed, throw fairness to society and give hope to whom life has shattered makes me want to love you more.   This was the man I married. Philemon Kwamena Anto, a well statured man who commands respect from his peers through his impeccable construct of words. That smile your face hides always accords me a scene to behold as my likes gnash their teeth in desire to own them. With you we’ve never aged and I’ve never felt old. 

How wonderful it is a couple with your profession?  A barrister-doctor as we started of was the best our world has envisioned?  I can’t call it a quit on my patients. My oath hasn’t run weary. Neither can I carry the burden of being a pastor’s wife. No…This wasn’t part of the “I do” package. Not that I  hate righteousness but I can’t be the yardstick for it’s measure. 

I’m sorry Phil, for enjoying the better when it was, but this worse, my strength can’t stand. 

Let me go… Here I bow out.

……………………**************…………………

So many years after “I do”. Do we see such things before we say? Or does just the immediate francies feel like they will be forever? After the aisle, after I do is a whole new reality of barricades to fall. What if he changes or his priorities do. What if her convictions change or her purpose is made more challenging? 

Will you still remain in “I DO”? 

OMB-2018

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