After the Aisle

 I’m wet-on my bed. He had made me. I lay as I try to make my hair drink away all the drops of tears my heart had poured. But it seems not capable. It just can’t. We finished with the last of this event not long ago. How good he is was the least I expected; the tinniest my horny body had prepared for. I did enjoy him.. Every bit of him…how erotic he was, tickling all my hairs and filling every cell of mine with the feeling of cloud nine. He is indeed sensual. And I love that. Don’t I?  The best I’ve ever met. Something that keeps me thinking twice as to how true it is that he says he’s a virgin. Could there be wholesome virgins this good? Certainly he might have inherited something so strong from my in-law then. Poor me… How wild my imaginations can be. 

I lie looking at him as he dines with the many this late hour at the feast of sleep. His deepest sleep. The most relaxed I’ve seen from him these past ten days after our wedding.  Maybe Vincent is the best at patience. That I can tell; the most cultured man a woman could throw her wishes at. I know how unfair I might have been to him. Yes… I’m a Christian. No one needs to remind me that. But giving him my classiest  apple once every year in these three years since we started dating with the hope that God would forgive us and understand our weaknesses wasn’t something I couldn’t render with ease. 

My stare is still fixed at your nude back.. The drive hidden in there. As I reminisce how you humbly pulled back from that kiss some months ago as our heads drew nearer and our lips closer with our breaths held at the pinnacles of love’s intensity. How you went to your kneels immediately after close in on a kiss to plead for crossing my path with least of what was temptation to me. The magnitude of guilt that filled your countenance that whole week. How you managed to keep the distance pegged unmovable. I wish i knew how you did them. How you could blind yourself umpteen times from the package in my bra, coupled with the luring curvy scenes my tighs could reveal in those undies. “Hipsy-boobsy”, a desire you made yet you ignored that whole time.

It still takes me aback which guy would allow his lawfully wedded wife to walk before his mortal eyes on a honey moon in hot pants everyday for nine days without pouncing on her. As least to harness nature’s  sweetest succulent fruit they’ve plucked with all humility, but for the simple excuse of being afraid of sex? But you’ve done it and I have no doubt that you truly love  me with all respect. I’m sorry Vince. Not that I don’t like intimacy but i had to continue on the path I had chosen. 

I lie in tears because my life is such wreck I can’t worry you to fix. I’m nowhere near Juliet to deserve the love of Romeo you carry. The holy me I presented to you was not any akin to what I served Lowry with. Not that I could not stand how sexy he was, or decipher when his cunning words requested to coax me into bed with him. But that had become my nature that only you saw as me being myself. Lowry could come into my life, do to my heart anything he so wished but my worst was to accomodate him. He hurt me so much yet I gave in to him the more and even wasted my treasure 

I’m sorry Vince. I’m dyingly sorry.  It’s only to your back I can share this. I love you. Just that this Love isn’t clean.  

Vince… We are married…. 10 days after the aisle, but I wish ….I so wish we weren’t…..

………..*************………..

Is it a mistake?  Is it a weakness?  Does it happen?   Can this be real?  Make yourself the Judge, be wise, be true to God, man and thyself. 

Gracias… 

OMB – 2018

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